remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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