I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
