I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your penis caused this!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
