She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
