she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
