Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize