I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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