Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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