it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
