I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
