Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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