So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
