Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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