At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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