You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
