Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize