why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
