Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
