Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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