I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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