i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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