all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
