we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
