I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
