I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
