I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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