I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
