you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
