and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
