Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
tell me about the eggs
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