we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We had sex on a dog bed..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
