Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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