If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
