dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
