Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
