i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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