if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
