Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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