Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Who died my cat blue again?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
