I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
