yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
