Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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