Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
