I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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