so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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