I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize