the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
