help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No subtext here. People are naked.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize