you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
