You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
