your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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