Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
