I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
