Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
