i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
