i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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