You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
