I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
