I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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