No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
