fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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