But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
