Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
