Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
